No Hay Maestro Como Carne Propia

There’s this scene in "Troy" where Brad Pitt is on this ship about to attack the city and he says to his men something like " Immortality is on those shores. Take it. It’s yours!"

While my current state isn’t even 4% as dramatic and has absolutely nothing to do with immortality or even sweaty Greek warriors, I do feel like I’m in that same extended moment of anticipation right before something really huge happens. That moment where your nostrils start to flare up and your blood rushes to every single vein and vessel in your body and you’re suddenly aware of every single hair on your skin. (And no I’m NOT high)

Thanks to the resident good spirit of my workplace, Rome (It’s all your fault!), I finally took that chance to become a full-fledged trainer. In the relatively short but considerably challenging time I’ve spent with my current company, there hasn’t been a day that has gone by without me pining to get to this position. Sabi ko pa, “Just give me an interview and I’ll nail it.”. And with the same bravado as Achilles did on that ship, I feel in my heart that I did nail it. Hehe. At this point, I’ve really done everything I can on my part, and the time has come for ‘The Wait’. It just really sucks to be me at this point because of the fact that I’m so cerebral and paranoid like no other. Although I generally feel like I did well, this is the time when I go back to the tiniest of details and uncontrollably try to interpret it in as many ways as possible. Should I have said something more profound at that point? Was my answer too simple? Was it too wordy? Did I seem confident enough? Was I overconfident?

The worst thing really is the contemplation of failure. Shet talaga. I keep on imagining how I would feel and what I would do if I had to go back to the office and do that first walk of shame in case I don’t get it. Somehow because I’m relatively new and happen to know a lot of people at work, my application has become a spectator sport of some sort. In as much as getting it would just be beyond great, not getting would be just, Ouch. And to think the ‘impossible Carl’ has an elitist snob at the back of his mind always telling him he’s too good for most people. Ha!

Okay, I’m starting to obsess just a tad too much. I guess it’s time for me to pipe down and console myself with a Miss Universe inspirational speech- the kind that says whatever happens, what matters is that you tried and that the effort in itself makes you a better person.

Right. That and World Peace.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 at 2:04 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.