No Hay Maestro Como Carne Propia

I read in the paper last week that a majority of Filipino college graduates wait an average of 18 months from graduation just to get hired.

And that got me thinking. I’m on my 14th month from graduation, and what do I have to show for it?

A decent paycheck that passes for ‘large’ by economically repressive Philippine standards, and a job that allows me to be blissfully bored and oblivious after the shift ends.

Granted, this is more than what most fresh grads (I still am ‘fresh’, technically. right? ) can expect in this country. And at 21, I’m probabaly too young to stress myself over my sense of self-definition in terms of really knowing who I am and what I really want to do with my life.

But the fact that my circumstances allow and even encourage such ambiguity worries me, because if at the end of the day, we are content with the thought that the ‘real’ bottom line is how much we’re earning and whether or not we can at least stomach the things we have to do for it, then the difference between 21 and 61, is just alot of 15th’s and 30th’s strung together.

My point is, although I should probably give myself slack for not being the Nobel Peace Prize winner that I feel like I ought to be, the search for Self is not solely for the senior citizen. And to abuse a current cliche, I actually liked it when Audrey Tautou in ‘The Da Vinci Code’ said that we are what we protect, what we stand up for.

And that makes me feel better because I at least have things I believe in and that I am willing to stand up for. And that’ll make for some pretty interesting blogs.

It’s frustrating to read other people’s blogs and realize: shit, I probably have the most boring blog there is. And the thing is, I’m not bored with my blog per se it’s just that, as usual, I tend to speak to myself when I write, sort of making drafts of my thoughts, to try and put them in perspective and ultimately to check my own paradigms. If that’s not bad enough, I say it in verse- for lack of faith in the literal to capture the whole spectrum of meanings that come with the Metaphor.

(bored yet? hehe)

I don’t know. Maybe I just have an urge to "sell out" like all of ‘em other blogs that say such "witty" things that make other "witty" people go visit again and again.

Then again, writing only for oneself is only good in that it prepares one to better communicate with others by refining the thoughts one wants to articulate. Talk about "toothless wit and speech". haha.

Alas, such is the dilemma of the autistic philosopher. (fine, i know it’s such an assuming label, but hey, I do have a diploma to back it up).

Maybe now I can start trusting my (literal) words and my hypothetical owjens.